Thursday, July 24, 2014

Lovin' Summer!


This summer hasn't been too bad as far as heat goes. We've had a few rather hot days, but mostly we've been in the 90's which is totally doable in KS! On one particularly hot day though I found this poor squirrel stretched out on our driveway...Even em coming towards him wasn't enough to make him want to move. 


 We've had several bonfires this summer and the kids love them! One night Emmy had a few friends over and they insisted on taking some pics together. These people are the ones KK calls "Her Girls". She is under the impression that they are her AND Emmy's friends. Luckily they are sweet enough to let Kailyn think that she is part of the group.
Of course, what is a bonfire without S'mores? As far as I and my kids are concerned completely burnt marshmallows are the way to go. You catch them on fire and while they're still burning lay them (very carefully) on top of the chocolate on the graham cracker. This melts the chocolate perfectly and once the marshmallow is no longer burning you can put the other cracker on top for a perfect S'mores!                                                                
Another fun time we had was when I gave Kailyn and Eddie some flour to play in. They (and the back porch) were COVERED in it! But they had soooo much fun! I mean, who wouldn't love to have a flour fight? I know I would! Perhaps a Family Home Evening activity is in order??? Of course, since they were covered in flour and the dog needed a bath, I got out the hose. First we washed Marga, which I don't think she appreciated as much as we did. Then we took the kiddie pool up front and had some water fun!





The water fun would have been fine, but as these things sometimes do it escalated into, well, a mud fight. I know, the purpose of the water was to clean up the flour...(which we did, so mission accomplished there!) but letting them throw mud at each other was a tiny bit counter-productive! In the end I ended up with a much bigger mess than I started with. The kids were covered in mud as were their clothes. But I suspect the kids would say it was well worth it! And, yeah, I'm not sure what Kailyn is doing in the pictures...and I'm not sure who taught her the duck face pose, though I suspect it may have been one of "her girls". I think that this was one of my favorite days this summer. Just letting the kids be kids, get dirty and wet and have fun!


The most recent adventure wasn't fun, necessarily, although Eddie and Kailyn managed to have a good time together. Eddie was lucky enough to be born with a small umbilical hernia that just hasn't closed on its own so he had an appointment for a surgery consult at Children's Mercy. The Dr seems very nice and lucky Eddie will have his 3rd surgery of his life in a couple weeks. (His first two were for ear tube placement and then removal.) He doesn't see at all phased by this impending surgery. When I told him that about it he said, "The Dr will fix my button so it doesn't hurt?" Since he had never complained of it hurting before I asked him when it hurts. He then lifted up his hsirt and said, "When I push on it like dis!" and then proceeded to try and push his finger through his belly button as hard as he could. I just laughed (yeah, I suppose that would hurt anyone!) and then he said, "And it won't hurt my pee pee anymore too to push on my button!? I admit, I lost it and just laughed at him. I mean, what do you say to that?
The procedure itself will be pretty easy and Eddie should be back to his regular old, weird self within a couple of days. Although, he will have to take a 5 day break from swimming while the incision heals. Hopefully all will go well and he will be done with surgeries for awhile. . .at least until he's paying his own medical bills! And in case you're wondering, Kailyn and Eddie were racing planes in the picture. Who won? Well, depends on who you ask!

On another side note. . .I've been considering the reality that Emmy may belong in a circus or some kind of act like Cirque De Soleil. That girl is a little too flexible for comfort and she's trying new things because she started watching "Dance Moms" (that would be my fault, I admit it) and there's a girl who does "acrobatics" and Emmy likes to try the moves too. It just makes me sore watching!



Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Happy 8th Birthday Robert Allen

Incredibly, it's been 8 years since Rob and I began to walk the most difficult path we'd ever been called to walk. I can remember wondering if I'd ever make it through, or if I'd ever be able to think of my son without crying. Looking back, sometimes I wonder how I made it through. There were times that the pain and anguish were so overwhelming that I felt that I was drowning in it. To have my heart ripped from me in such a way was unthinkable. . . And having to
go on afterwards was simply unimaginable! The days when i just couldn't get past what I'd lost, or the nights spent sobbing as I'd relive the memories or go through the few tangible objects I had; the only evidence that my child existed and mattered. It is a sorrow that is infinite in its depth and brutal in its force. But I did go on because I had to, because I needed to. But ultimately, it was only with the Lord's help that some healing could take place.


Losing my child, my precious baby boy, was the most devastating trial I'd ever experienced but as enormous as that loss is, the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ is bigger. It's not to say that I'm completely healed. . .because I'm not. The wound is still there. I miss my baby everyday and at times the grief is as fresh as if it was all happening again. Any parent who's lost a child will tell you that full healing can never take place here, because our arms are still empty and so our hearts are still broken. And until I have my
son back, I will always be broken to some degree. But through the atonement and my Savior's love, my wound is temporarily stitched together. Aching and still at times bleeding, but for now, until full healing can take place when I meet my son in heaven and hold him again, it will be enough to keep me going. And the next time he's in my arms, it will be for forever. . .I won't have to be left behind to grieve.

Dearest baby boy,
I miss you. I think of you all the time and long to hold you. You are my sorrow and my joy. Know that my love is stronger than death which has temporarily separated us. Someday, I will hold you again. I will kiss your face and hear your heart beating and you will be mine forever. I love you darling boy!
Love forever,
Mommy


Saturday, July 12, 2014

Summer Fun!

This summer is going by much faster than I expected it to. It's hard to believe that school will start in about 1 month! We are trying to make the most of our summer fun though! We spend about 3-4 hours at the pool most days. (Which makes for a really nice tan!!) One Monday we opted to head to the North Pool and spend the day there. I think we were there for about 5 1/2 hours. We lounged in the lazy river, slid down the slides and watched the kiddos swim and jump off the diving boards. The most surprising thing was when Kailyn, with no prompting from me, decided to climb up the high dive and without any hesitation JUMP! She came out of the water grinning and laughing! 




Eddie wasn't able to go off the diving board since he couldn't swim without a life jacket or floaties, but he did love going down the family slide and floating in the lazy river. By the end of the day he was pretty darn tired. In fact, he spent the last 15 minutes or so sunbathing with my friend Danna and I. I've been very impressed with his leap in swimming ability since then though. While in Texas he decided to attempt swimming without floaties and has actually managed to do pretty good job since being back home. He can swim underwater and come up for a breath then keep going, but he doesn't like to...he'd prefer to try and doggie paddle but he can't go as far or as fast that way. He's not to the point where I trust him on his own, but I suspect that by the end of the summer he'll be getting pretty close to that!

Sterling has been gone off and on this summer. He'dspend a week or so at Nana and Papa's house helping out and earning some money and then he'd be home  few days before heading out again. He also spent a week at Scout Camp doing scout stuff...whatever that is. I think it's getting dirty, not bathing and generally being a stinky boy. For the next month, though, he's in Texas with my sis and bro-in-law and their daughter. Hope he's having a good time!

 This past weekend we went to Texas in part to get Emmy and drop off Sterling, but mostly to be there when my sister and bro-in-law got sealed!! It was a fun weekend and I was so happy for them to start their Eternal family! On the 4th we went to the flag raising ceremony at their ward and watched Rori (their daughter) and Carter (my brother Scott and sis-in-law, Laura's son) participate in the parade. Such cute cousins!
Carter was, of course, a big hit with all my kiddos. No one could get enough of him, including me I must admit! He is such a sweet, happy, adorable little guy! I loved his cute smile and the way he would blow bubbles at us! One of the perks of not having anymore babies is that I get to just enjoy my sibling's babies but it makes me sad that his family lives so far away (in Montana) so we don't get to see them often. In fact, this was the first time my kids had ever met their cousin Carter. It also makes me miss my other nephews, Allen and Hayden who live in Utah and my nieces and nephews, Abbi, Jake, Isaac, Ethan and Sarah who live in Iowa. ::SIGH::: Everyone should just move here to be closer to me!!



Here is Kailyn being silly on the way back from Texas. The eyes from her Happy Meal box fit her rather well and made me laugh! What a weirdo!

While we left Sterling in Texas so he could spend the month helping Jordan and Drew out by watching Rori and we brought Emmy home with us. We have enjoyed having her back but it won't be for long! She is a lucky girl this year in that she just spent a month in Texas and will be heading to Montana and Lake Powell in the next couple of weeks. She is blessed to have some awesome aunts and uncles! I'm glad that she's able to have these fun opportunities and make these memories with her cousins. All my kids are incredibly blessed to have the extended family that they do!

Robert Allen

miscarriage