A Life Worth Remembering

October 15th...Just another day for most. Nothing unusual, no reason to stop and recognize the importance of this day to so many people. You may not even realize that on this day, candles all over the world are lit, hearts are poured out in grief and remembrance of lives that were so brief, they may have gone unnoticed by all but a few. But for those of us touched by those short lives, they are life altering and world changing.

I never planned to be a part of this silent club, but then, no one really does. It's exclusive but no one strives to be included. It's unbiased, inviting forcing us into it's ranks without regard to race, religion, age, gender, etc. We come in all shapes and sizes, with backgrounds and stories as different as they are familiar. We are the person next to you in the grocery store, the one with many children or none that you can see. You could be us, and once, we were you. But now, we walk a lonely and terrible path. It is well trodden and yet unmarked; We're left to stumble and find our way through as best we can. Some do it alone, others have those who walk with them, many of us meet friends along the way to share our journey with. Yet, no matter how many have come before us, walk with us or will follow after us on this path, we do it alone. Our grief is private and can't be shared. It is ours alone to bear becuase no one can give back what we have lost...our children.

And although we did not choose this sorrow, this burden, neither would we give it up. It is all we have left of our little ones. To stop grieving, would be to stop remembering and that is unthinkable. Our memories may be few and the physical evidence of the life of our child may be non-existent, but they are no less real and no less loved than the children that are held and cherished here and now. Their names are often left unsaid and to us, that is heartbreaking. Their lives are often forgotten by those around us and we are left to remember in silence. Can you imagine never again hearing the name of your child, or having those around you forget of their existence?

And so it is that today is a day I celebrate. Today is a day that my son isn't forgotten. Today his life, although confined only to the time in my womb, matters. Today, our club is not silent. Although you may not even know that we are here or hear us, we say the names of our precious children. The ones who have never had the chance to say their own names or, perhaps, even heard their name spoken. At 7pm in each time zone, candles are lit, names are said and stories are remembered. Lives that were too short are celebrated and mourned. But for this one day, we are not alone. We are surrounded by those who share our grief, who know our loss, and who walk this lonely journey with us. For 24 hours there is light to brighten our dark path. And for 24 hours our child is not forgotten.

And so, for today, if you will take one moment to stop and say the name of a baby that has been lost, even just to yourself, they will not be forgotten. For today, look around and be aware that you may have friends and family that only want to have the name of their lost child spoken, to know that they are remembered. It is one day, one moment...but it may be the only time in the year that our children matter to anyone but us.

I miss you baby boy! You are my sorrow that I carry every day, the grief that I have been chosen to bear, but you are also my hope, my joy, my son. Today, I say your name for all to hear so that you are not forgotten. I love you Robert Allen!