Sunday, July 26, 2009

Just Kai-Kai

I fed Kailyn bananas for the first time and the next day this is what gross!

Practicing to be a K-State cheerleader. Look at that flexibility!

Not sure what this face is about, but it's funny!

Look at me sittin up all by myself!! Yay me!!

Happy girl!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Morning interview

Cori is laying in my bed next to Kai:

C: Kai-Kai wanna hold my hand? Say "yes"

K: (Who sounds just like Cori in a high pitched voice, but never moves her lips) Yes!

There you have it. Kai wants to hold his hand! Cori seems to often be able to translate Kai's every thought for us...that or he's making it up, but who can tell.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

3 years down and many more to go

I REALLY need to update my blog, but I don't have time tonight. But today is Robert Allen's birthday and I can't let it pass without telling him how much I love and miss him. So this is for him:

My dear son Robert Allen,
It's been 3 years since you came to our family and though you couldn't stay you have left an indelible mark on our lives. You never took a breath, a word was never spoken and I never felt your breath against my cheek. I never saw your smile, or heard your heart beating, but you are as much my child as your brothers and sisters are. I wish so much that I could have raised you here on the earth, but Heavenly Father had other plans for you. And although I trust in his will, I ache to have you here with me in my arms. Losing you was so hard. So many regrets and wishes left unfilled. To hold you one more time, to feel your breath against my skin or hear the beating of your heart is all that I want. I know that you are mine forever, and that I will have you again one day, but I selfishly want you here with me now. Why did you have to go? Do you know how very much you are loved? I would have done anything to save you, to bring you into this world alive and healthy. I'm sorry that I failed in that. I don't know what I could have done differently. I run through the events over and over in my mind, reliving everything from the beginning, but how could I have known what the end would be? And even if I did, could I or would I have changed it? Could I take you from the paradise that you now inhabit, to grow up in a difficult world? No I couldn't do that. There is a purpose in all that we suffer here in our mortal probation, but sometimes, the purpose eludes us. But even knowing the purpose, there is sorrow, not for what you have lost, for really, you have gained eternal glory, but in what I have lost. Although my arms are no longer empty, they still ache for the little boy that I never rocked to sleep. I don't know why you had to leave, but know that I always loved you and will continue to love you for all eternity. Until I can hold you in heaven, I'll hold you in my heart.

Your Mommy

Robert Allen